I cannot even explain where my mind has been lately. There has been a lot that I have dealing with, mostly just battling with my inner demons. This drug has made me appreciate what I have in life, and made me appreciate the gift of life. I’ve dealt with trying to save a friend that has it worst than I do. I’ve came to terms of not having life figured out. I’m not worried about not having life figured out anymore. I’m a good person, I know what I want to do, I have an idea of how I’m going to go about it. I’ll be fine. I’ve had to come to terms of wishing that my relationship with my parents would get better. It probably won’t. There’s nothing else I can do for them, but I still love them. I love my Dad so much, but I know my dislike for him is growing. I’m so afraid that the bond that I have for him is gonna die. I am afraid that my Mom will die unhappy. The thought of that terrifies the hell out of me. The thought of my Mom not being able to meet her grandchildren. I’ve been trying my best to prevent this from happening, but I’m running out of options quickly. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean that you got to like them. I feel like I’ve been such a horrible friend to Ave. I didn’t know how to help me when he needed me most. I know he goes through his own problems that I don’t even know about. When I talk to him, he can kinda relate. I can’t even talk to my blood brother a lot anymore, just because we’re so different. He has his own life now, and I know he can’t make me his top priority anymore. The person I love the love the most is upset at me, but I can’t even begin to explain how I feel. I feel so judged by her right now, now I don’t even know how to open up. Everyone goes to war with their own demons. This have definitely been an experience. Not something I’ll try again though. I do feel refreshed, especially after typing this letter. This wasn’t something that I just did for “fun”. Don’t be so quick to judge other people. Even if they talk to you about their problems, doesn’t mean that they’re okay. I have realized that I’m done with drugs. Just because I did all of this doesn’t make me a bad person. It doesn’t make me some crazy addict. All I know is that I am destined for greatness, and I am still working on becoming a better person.